I’m an introvert. There, I said it. Strange. I say it as if it’s something to be ashamed of. In truth, I’ve been an introvert since the start, and it’s something I’ve wanted to talk about for some time, and the frustration it brings when dealing with life on this world. Most of the time, introversion is absolutely fine, nothing to complain about, but other times I wish I wasn't this way. Check out Susan Cain’s presentation on ‘The Power of Introverts’ on the TED Talk YouTube channel if you want a really in-depth and thoughtful study on how introverts can shape the universe versus extroverts. Anyway, I just want to talk a little about introversion.
Solitude
Introverts are lone wolfs. People who prefer their own company, or small groups of friends, to crowds and parties. They are, from what I understand, often deep thinkers who tend to find incredible solutions to problems, craft new ideas and generally want to leave the world a better place from how they found it. It’s equally true for extroverts, too. I don’t want to say extroverts are none of those things or wise to keep away from or in any way unfriendly. The friendliest people I know are manic extroverts and always set aside five minutes for your time. Such people are gems and worth keeping. But, there is a problem. The rest of the world. From school, and all the way through life, we are forced to interact with people, partake in teamwork, step into uncomfortable situations, and then scorned if we don’t adapt. I remember school performances where it was MANDATORY to get involved. That’s pretty much what hell looks like to me. And if you don’t take part, the teachers will pick on you. Humiliating. The same is true for job interviews demanding group interviews under the disguise of ‘assessing how you work in a team’. That might be part-true, but I’m convinced the most part is to do with their laziness. Group interviews become a rumble pit. Introverts are less apt to show how good they really are for the job if placed in such a situation, so only the naturally talkative shine even though they might be horrible for the job. Stupid.
Just stop forcing people into groups! And stop with group interviews! Their sole function is to make the hiring team’s job’s easier based off factors unrelated to the job. Social ability. I’ve never got a job through a group interview. The only way for introverts to shine is to get an answer right when no-one else knows, or shout louder. Introverts won’t often do the latter. In one-on-one interviews, introverts are better suited, but even then they have to wear a mask of confidence. We all do, after all. Group work is annoying as hell, and most of the time pointless. I’ve always been a better worker when left alone. When stuck in a group I can’t voice my opinions out of fear they might be stupid, nonsensical and needless. Deep thought works best alone, but that’s not to say group work should be avoided at all costs. Introversion, for me at school and sometimes these days, a curse on the worst days. I often wonder how my life would play out if I could engage in polite conversation and even pretend to care about somebody’s life. This all sounds deeply misanthropic, cold. Perhaps vitriolic. But, in truth I do care. I do care about other people, my work mates, friends and family. But it’s so unbelievably hard to say anything. It’s just easier, and safer, to keep quiet.
Just stop forcing people into groups! And stop with group interviews! Their sole function is to make the hiring team’s job’s easier based off factors unrelated to the job. Social ability. I’ve never got a job through a group interview. The only way for introverts to shine is to get an answer right when no-one else knows, or shout louder. Introverts won’t often do the latter. In one-on-one interviews, introverts are better suited, but even then they have to wear a mask of confidence. We all do, after all. Group work is annoying as hell, and most of the time pointless. I’ve always been a better worker when left alone. When stuck in a group I can’t voice my opinions out of fear they might be stupid, nonsensical and needless. Deep thought works best alone, but that’s not to say group work should be avoided at all costs. Introversion, for me at school and sometimes these days, a curse on the worst days. I often wonder how my life would play out if I could engage in polite conversation and even pretend to care about somebody’s life. This all sounds deeply misanthropic, cold. Perhaps vitriolic. But, in truth I do care. I do care about other people, my work mates, friends and family. But it’s so unbelievably hard to say anything. It’s just easier, and safer, to keep quiet.
Quiet
I was a shy boy who grew into a shy man. Relationships are hard as hell to manage, but I’ve come to realize the ones closest to you love you for who you are. My best friend is pretty much my polar opposite. He is an extrovert. He has a girlfriend, a car, good looks, a family he’s open with and an ear-to-ear grin. He’s the first name on my phone and often the last person I talk to. I’ve admitted my failings and social ineptness, my anxiety and frustration with living in general. Instead of shying away like how a lot of people would (and understandably so) he doesn’t care. He doesn’t look at me any different, not as far as I know anyway. He doesn’t expect me to go to the cinema, so he doesn’t invite me and I totally get that. Bloody grateful. Nor does he expect to me see outside if I’ve got a day off. I’ll be writing instead. Not all introverts need somebody to cling on to, and I like to think sometimes I don’t, but having somebody there who will always be there for you, and will actually miss you when you’re not around, is an incredible gift, and something that shouldn’t be taken lightly. I don’t deserve my best friend, but I’ve got him.
Since watching Susan Cain’s talk on introversion, images and flashbacks of school, college, university, job hunting and skirting the fringes of human existence have flooded my mind, and it’s incredible to think how far we’re moving (as a world) towards an extroverted plain. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but worrying for those who really can’t cope with social interactions. For some people, the mere thought of a human encounter, a friendly gathering, or even going to work, is terrible. So terrible it’s actually painful. I want to live in a world where introverts are praised for their ideas, their thoughts and work ethics instead of made to feel guilty for living in the shadows and toiling away on their bright ideas. Just because we don’t want to go for a drink with our colleagues after work doesn’t mean we don’t like them, want to get to know them or see them. We’d love to get to know them, perhaps even build a stronger relationship or something more. We just don’t want to put ourselves in uncomfortable situations where we are on guard, our cards close to our chest with our eyes on the door.
Songs of the Week:
Since watching Susan Cain’s talk on introversion, images and flashbacks of school, college, university, job hunting and skirting the fringes of human existence have flooded my mind, and it’s incredible to think how far we’re moving (as a world) towards an extroverted plain. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but worrying for those who really can’t cope with social interactions. For some people, the mere thought of a human encounter, a friendly gathering, or even going to work, is terrible. So terrible it’s actually painful. I want to live in a world where introverts are praised for their ideas, their thoughts and work ethics instead of made to feel guilty for living in the shadows and toiling away on their bright ideas. Just because we don’t want to go for a drink with our colleagues after work doesn’t mean we don’t like them, want to get to know them or see them. We’d love to get to know them, perhaps even build a stronger relationship or something more. We just don’t want to put ourselves in uncomfortable situations where we are on guard, our cards close to our chest with our eyes on the door.
Songs of the Week:
- 'Darling, Are You Gonna Leave Me?' by London Grammar
- 'Maybe' by London Grammar
- 'Help' by London Grammar
- 'Shyer' by London Grammar
- 'Strong' by London Grammar
- 'A Spartan Rises' by Halo 2 Anniversary Soundtrack
- 'So Far Away' by CMA (f. Wonder)
- 'Priscilla's Song' by The Witcher 3 Soundtrack
- 'The Fields of Ard Skellig' by The Witcher 3 Soundtrack
- 'Father's Day' by Frank Turner